Estrangement

This is not the first turbulence. They were frequent but temporary when we were younger. Something is not quite the same though. I have strong reasons to believe that it's lack of our abilities to forgive and keep the love alive. Not ruling out other possibilities but I have been thinking about two reasons why this happens.

ONE- we think adults are mentally and emotionally better than kids. That's why an adult can't do silly things. Any flaw in being perfect by an adult is met with consequences, the kind that poisons both ways. The poison has spread so much that I cannot even tell you this. Can you believe that you used to be the first person I used to go to?

TWO- perhaps our relationship caused us more grief than happiness. In that case estrangement is okay, I guess.

You can proclaim every night in the bed- it doesn't matter, i don't care, im not like the needy people around me. That doesn't prevent any amount of pain you continue to feel. The pain which feels like a million knives stabbing not only your heart but your whole existence. Who will truly accept me if not my own? Who can I count to check on me if not my own? It's a dead-end in the world full of humans. Perhaps I should get a pet.